...introverted ramblings and musings

...Gratitude

2011-04-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

...thanks to You,i made it home.

i feel blessed.

:]

...unthinkable

2011-04-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

...what is?

waking up early on weekends.

...blasa

2011-03-06T00:49:00.000-08:00

...We twa hae run about the braes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
and pu’d the gowans fine ; mo charaid, famed for running;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit, if greener pastures are what you seek,
sin auld lang syne. then for auld lang syne,let's raise the parting glass.

...at 1.38 a.m.

2011-03-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

...change is static coz life is dynamic.

...'wu li'

2011-02-26T01:09:00.000-08:00

...according to google translate, means rude.

in my endeavour to be not-so-limited to just english, malay, and smatterings of other chinese dialects, google translate has been quite kind to me.

there are and will always be rude people wherever you go.you can't change that.what you Can change is how you react towards their manners......or rather lack thereof.

it's not easy and it takes time, but hey,it's good for you!

...of wanting luaus and red

2011-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

...aloha.!

yes.someday i would like to go to hawaii too.with the grass skirts and he mele no lilo.

back for the cny hols.i still remember last year's 'celebration' what with it being a mere month away from the dreaded professional exams. fretting and cramming. yuck.

yay for this year. but then again, i'll be making the trek home on the third day of cny itself so i guess i might be missing out on some of the fun.oh well, you win some you lose some.

am looking forward to the yummy nummies and just the familiarity of family.

on another note, new year new resolutions,as they like to say. being stuck in a rut isn't a make it or break it thing,but it's pretty mundane and life in smaller towns dictates that most of the time. i guess those livin and lovin it are the plain janes and joes looking to raise families on their cornfields before time gets the better of them. in a way.

'And all our yesterdays have lighted fools'

how brilliant the Bard.

till next time!

...zoned out

2010-11-12T04:41:00.000-08:00

...like a g6 made me wanna blog again!so weird.

haven't blogged at all since comin to this terengganu.life's too busy or too boring?both really.
things are so different now,more like working life really,except we still get more hols and can choose to be lazy and totally ditch our 'clients' whenever wherever
we're meant to be together!i'll be there and you'll be near
*giggle* that's why yours truly has been so darn lazy nowadays,without any assessments to fret about save for the end of postings which really call for last minute cramming sessions.no no,it's not a good thing.

just came back from deepavali hols after another tiresome trek all the way from home.almost 10 hrs! fireflyz do be a babe and resume your penang to k.terengganu flights okay?good,thank you.and i brought back my headphones so i can shut out any unnecessary nuisance.hey there look here!

i wanna be paid to travel! people are so diverse all around the world and what we perceive as being correct and acceptable or normal is just downright retarded elsewhere!
i like that.

I'M GETTING OLD! *throws tantrum and rubbish into the basket for good measure*
so why am i not rotting in one of the places to see before you die ?

...THE NETHERLANDS!

2010-07-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

...who knew i'd get so caught up with the 2010 fifa world cup fever?as i type this(4.33 am),i'm in the midst of rejoicing in the netherlands' victory over uruguay WHICH NOW MEANS THAT THEY ARE IN THE FINALS OF THE 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP!!!!

the first half started off slowly with the netherlands having the upper hand in the ball possession department but it was uruguay who played more aggresively.the dutch players often found themselves facing 2 uruguayan footballers whenever they had the ball.ultimately,VAN BRONCKHORST(captain of the netherlands team) scored an AMAZING goal by sending the ball zooming right from the left-side of the goal.

shortly before half-time,FORLAN gave the netherlands a run for their money when he overcame the weaker dutch defence to net an equalizing goal for the uruguayan team.

in the second half,the uruguayan team continued with their aggressive style of play while the dutch continued with their subtle possession of the ball and striking tactics.it has to be said though that the dutch are SUPERB STRIKERS eventhough it may not always be one of the forceful ones.in the 70th minute,SNEIJDER,being the man that he is,scored yet another goal for the netherlands.just 3 minutes later,the netherlands sorta secured their place in the finals when ROBBEN,assisted by KUYT's pass,headed the ball into the uruguayan goal.then,the dutch led by 2 goals.IMHO,kuyt is one of the best players on the team,constantly aiding and being selfless in the scoring of goals by his fellow teammates.

just before the whistle blew though,the rather lackluster dutch team conceded another goal by maximiliano.IMHO,it was an unnecessary one,not very much unlike the penalty which cost them during their match against slovakia in the quarter-finals.for a moment the situation looked very risky when the referee seemingly dragged the match on,well after the 3 minute additional time was up.instead of raising his hands to signal the end of the match,he handed VAN BOMMEL a yellow card and waved play on.like,hello?

but anyways,the whistle eventually blew and netherlands are through to the finals on the 11th of july 2010 in johannesburg!!!

honestly don't know what it is,but the netherlands has made me finally 'get' football after so long.the jubilation,the excitement,the yelling,the swearing,the shouting,and all that jazz.nearly sliced off my fingertips with the celing fan when the netherlands scored their first goal.football made me happy.

...last glimpses from and of angkasa

2010-07-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

...self-titled.
the places to just stop and stare,take a breather and sigh after being blinded by books.

...self-less-ness

2010-05-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

...the world would be a better place if people were less self-centered and less selfish.

the end.

...bjones-y

2010-05-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

...before
supper - half a corn/1 banana

brekkie - 2 corn-on-a-cob s

lunch - soya milk and couple of cream crackers

dinner - soya milk and 3 bananas

supper - 1 banana

after
supper - leftover pizza

brekkie - fried tesco curry instant noodles w egg

lunch - fried tesco curry instant noodless w egg and 100 plus

dinner - mcd's spicy chicken mcdeluxe w fries and coke

supper - filet-0-fish and leftover 100 plus

...suksama =]

2010-05-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

...it might not have meant anything to you,but it definitely meant a lot to me.

thank you.

you made the trip worth something.

...and i think you're mighty fine.

...growing up

2010-04-27T04:40:00.000-07:00

...the thoughts swirled endlessly.a neverending story is what it feels like.the relentless storm and streaks darting across the cloudy skies mirrored it.empathy from up above?how ironic.

the internal cats and dogs paused for a moment as the bus rolled into sight.hopped onto it and hey presto! interval was up.

staring out at the raindrops making their tireless journey down the windows of the bus.how ironic.

irony stopped when the lips parted.

fairplay all the way.no more,no more.

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
If you're not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

it IS time.

...nella mia anima

2010-04-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

...came across this awhile back.who knew she could sing?might have been tweaked to sound better but then i like the video too.

the play of black and white and the whole nine yards. kinda cool.she looks good too.catchy.

bianco nero

...hope it gives you hell!

2010-04-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

...song with in-yer-faceee lyrics like yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

i know it's old but what the heck i still think it rocks!!
mv's kinda funny too especially the end where it becomes sort of anthemic! yeahah

I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place

And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now wheres you picket fence love
And wheres that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me
You can take back your memories they're no good to me
And here's all your lies,
You can look me in my eyes
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you well

XD
whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

...train-ing

2010-04-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

...today i shall blog about what i think is my first experience on a train.besides the confusing closure of pudu bus station,i figured why not since i had time to spare.

so off i went to kl sentral to get a ticket.the place was surprisingly busy despite it being a weekday and all but i managed to secure a train ticket for myself and all i had to do was wait.the train was scheduled to depart at 3 but then it got delayed to 3.30,then 3.40, and when we finally left kl sentral it was nearly 4.*tut-tuts*

when i got onboard,the seat beside me was empty but before i could say whoopee!,the train pulled into the old kl station and an old man parked himself nicely beside me.

i don't usually have anything against old people,but this decrepit male smelt so strongly of cigarette smoke he was basically a walking ashtray.even before he sat his arse down,i could smell the smoke as he got nearer and nearer.imagine my horror when he sat down beside me.

for those who lack imagination

throughout the journey,i felt like an asthmatic with an asthma attack:gasping for air/life.needless to say,laser looks were cast from the corner of my eye every so often.luckily some passengers got down and i quickly switched places.

midway thru the journey, the chimney got up and made his way to the partition.

see chimney.
see chimney walk.
see chimney walk to partition to smoke.

once the automatic door closed,he began to puff away.yeap,despite coughing and wheezing every now and then,mr. smokes-a-lot just couldn't help himself from a cancer stick.*shrugs* oh well.

quaint shophouses that looked like they hail from the pre-independence era somewhere in batu gajah

oh oh,he was travelling with an elderly woman and a kid who were sitting behind me.the kid was kinda annoying to the point where the woman threatened to abandon him on the train but alas,the kid was not to be kidded?like when we were arriving at a station called tapah road and the intercom came on and the name was announced.the kid then went "tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad tapahroad" until the lady(presumably his amah) shut him up.at first some may find it adorable,but after awhile most would feel like shoving a bagful of methylphenidate or other adhd drugs down that brat's throat.....just kidding!

ipoh

the merry band of three finally got off at ipoh station and the coach was quite empty then.

had the whole coach to meself

the other passengers were all quite elderly and this was what was showing on the tv:a cat? chasing its own tail.....INGENIOUS

the train arrived home nearly 4 and a half hours after leaving kl.

initially masked by mist from the rain

the veil parts slowly but surely

ta-daa!

...just smile

2010-04-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

...how to train a dragon

2010-03-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

...or is it your dragon?

in any case,the movie was quite nice.especially loved the graphics,SO frickin cool(trumps alice in wonderland any day).oh and the ending's kinda cool too i guess,albeit a tad sad.was hoping that the hero would perish(the whole die with honour thing) but in a kid's movie?that would be pushing it.

feel like watching it again but in 3d this time.thinkin of it as a rollercoaster ride.

on a separate note,was randomly flipping thru the channels and landed on mtv with a remake/resing? of 'we are the world' by some of the music industry's heavyweights and some familiar faces.i spotted tony bennett,pink,jennifer hudson,barbra streisand,celine dion,jonas bros,miley cyrus,that kid justin bieber(go figure for the latter three),wyclef jean,lionel richie,nicole scherzinger,fergie,mary j blige and of course michael jackson himself.it wasn't like mind-blowing stuff,but at least it was in the name of a good cause(the haiti quake?).

...just stop and stare

2010-03-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

...been in the mood to blog lately.

*shrugs shoulders*

as i sit here in my home's study,i stare aimlessly at my computer's screen,mind empty as a hollow nutshell. the wind from the fan blows my bush/mushroom/currypuff-like hair and for a split second,it brings me back to the time when my hair was gently swept by the sea breeze as i strolled along the beach.

thoughts whiz by.and then they undoubtedly centre on that niggling little piece de resistance.how can a piece de resistance be niggling?strange minds have strange ruminations.at times it's best to just let them be.

my stomach's grumbling,my throat is sore.to eat my terengganu keropok berlada or to starve and have at least a shot at keeping up with you?i give in(a little too easily i might add) and the sounds of the keropok berlada shattering to pieces appease the rumbling hollow that is my stomach.seems like everything's empty or hollow these days.

bonnie raitt does her thing on youtube and i identify with her.but only in bits here and there,for the streaming takes time.but that's ok,i have time.for now at least.

it rained a little today and my throat is itchy.yet,down the keropok berlada goes,one after another.it hurts but i know.

ask me not why,and i'll tell you i know.

in its whimsical wanderings,it knows it should give up the fight.this is not a so-called emo post okay please lah you.

...positive pain

2010-03-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

...the bus ride home was a killer.the aircond was so hot it's a miracle i'm not roasted.

even as i flip through them,the fleeting moments of you pokes somewhat.

you're so brilliant,i wish you'd recognize that more often.

...ttt the teh-rreng-ga-noo trip

2010-03-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

...i'm back from the trip to terengganu.it sure was one helluva weird trip i must say,what with the switch in the dynamics and stuff and i've gotten darker and my face is lobster red with a particularly obvious rudolph-ish nose.my hands and feet are also crying out for a deliciously wicked massage thanks to trainer hong's regimen.

the bus ride took around 8 hours,the longest i've ever been on a bus and looking back,it really wasn't THAT bad.songs were sung,spongebob squarepants was watched,chor tai tis were played and gossips were dissected and distributed.it is after all,THE last trip we were gonna take as a class and we'll soon drift apart,what with the hectic schedules and different groupings.the only static thing in life is change and so change it is but it'll be sad not to see the familiar faces and places we're so accustomed to.

3 years in this place will be quite a test i would say,but i'm praying for the best and only good things to come.the hostel was okay,not too shabby and we went to pulau kapas where the sand really was as soft as cotton and really fine to boot.i also had my first snorkelling experience and it was quite fun,save for the tachypneic moments each time i was hovering above a colony of spiky sea urchins.but my feet and hands are aching and burning from the extensive exposure to the sun.banana boat is a must the next time.

ice-blended honey dew was yummy and beach volleyball was another scorcher.the boat ride back from the island was liberating and did wonders to my lacklustrous hair.the weather was fine on the beach but back on the mainland,it felt like the whole town was on fire.apparently,the rain's gonna come pelting down during the monsoon season,when it can go on for the whole day.it's all about balance people.

as i'm typing this post out,i see the discontinuity and shudder at the brief intermittent moments of realization of the uncertainties that are about to take place in that godforsaken place.

it's not that bad.it'll get better,whatever it is.i hope.

i thought i had set my priorities straight.perhaps not.

i'm goin back to my darling hometown tomorrow.it's another 4 hours on another bus.pengsan-able,don't you think?

...can i just say i'm done?

2010-03-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

...standing up and sitting down at the wrong time,each time.

...with time

2010-03-19T20:50:00.000-07:00

...it either gets easier

or it just continues to consume you,a little bit more each time.

...angels around me

2010-03-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

...bridging the gap was not easy.

i'll try to strike a balance then.

...second thoughts

2010-02-19T02:50:00.000-08:00

...was i really cut out to do this

or was it a mistake all along?

sdotodots

...defying gravity

2010-02-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

...

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down

...horizontal negativity

2010-01-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

looks great on her though

...me and her would be mistaken for twins if not for the age gap.

and the lack of cuteness on my part.

anybody want cheeks?

...time will tell

2010-01-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

...always the listener.

but who listens?

...even i don't think so

2010-01-11T08:16:00.000-08:00

...if i could escape,and recreate a place that's my own world

...can't wait to get through the major exams that're coming up in just a couple of months.then freedom reigns!

the family trip turned to be quite okay.ironically,only after the experience did the cherishing begin.a lesson to be learnt surely?

just got back from watching paranormal activity.kinda slow in a good deal of scenes but some were kinda freaky.and the very last scene(if you do call it a scene that is) was classic.it had the lot of us huddled in our chairs,shielding our eyes and stealing peeks every now and then until we finally left the hall.bloody brilliant.

this sem's brought like a gazillion revelations and unfortunately,the majority of them are unpleasant truths.personally,2009 wasn't exactly a good year.quite a number of things went wrong,at least beginning after the 1st quarter of the year.magic and miracles were kinda elusive and lost.

dramatic?

then,you have no idea.

mandarin's fairly improving,english's been steadily deteriorating.holy cow.

...i can see moos' halo,halo.....and nose ring

here's to a persistently positive,humongously happy healthy,super successful 2010!

...what story?

2009-12-23T07:05:00.000-08:00

...like freefalling from the blue skies above,

you took my breath away.

uttering simple words,

you made my day.

if only i had known earlier.

MiCam
lea huoy kynum srolaïgn

...no regrets?

2009-12-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

...so here i am.

place is okay i guess.food's not bad(tastes like nyonya cooking).

bit dull though.just haven't been in my element lately.

losing my cool rather easily lately.

fingers Are crossed for the remainder to be better.

both me and siem reap.

MiCam

p.s hope the rest are having a better time with their hols!

i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed excitement and a sprinkling of zest for life,baby!zap me back

...got caned today

2009-12-15T05:05:00.000-08:00

...i got my very first candy cane today~<]

...life/live/love

2009-12-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

...life is short.

so protected,yet vulnerable

what are you fearing?

life is in your hands

and so is death

take it away,put it aside

but it lingers

still.

when will it end?

when will you choose to be free?

...ever be happy

2009-11-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

will i ever be normal again?

...honestly don't know.

i really am sorry.
it hurts so bad.

...just breathe

2009-11-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

...

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,

I don't love him.

Winter just wasn't my season"

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to criticize,

Hypocrites.

You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,

we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,

Wanna hold him,

Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track,

we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass,glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing this song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand.

And breathe, just breathe

woah breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe.

...everybody's changing and i don't feel the same

2009-11-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

...seems as though the new sem brought with it new issues and new worries.

some of them are more out there,more publicized.

but they are usually the ones that don't matter as much as the the ones that are buried deep within a person.

at least it's out there and ready to be dealt with.

the latter needs digging.....

.....and digging needs time.

like hourglasses.think it's great how they can come in a myriad of shapes and sizes.fascinating watching the moments of life just trickle down,little by little.

...picking the right one

2009-11-06T06:39:00.000-08:00

...come,come, let's not get caught in the middle.

let the hypocrites be.

if well-meant expressions fall upon deaf ears

then leave them be,

for who are we

to judge.

a double edged sword is what it is-

double edged-

so only use it with THAT in mind

for cutting others means cutting oneself.

to live on an island would be unthinkable

and yet to live in the infested-

in physical and mental terms-

city is just ridiculous

and frankly

vomit-inducing.

to love a little

to love a lot

it's the same thing really.

to preach about priorities

is to preach about the most important love.

...the old catches up

2009-11-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

...it was a huge departure.

yet,the delays and lags in between paved a way for the ghosts to creep slowly back.

it feels different and yet a part says it's regression.

both,equally undesirable.

yet they seem to be inevitable and almost vital sometimes.

choices.

...exam-blues

2009-09-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

...it seems almost inevitable that depression set in each time exam's around the corner.

i like this broom picture.i think it is cute.
sekian,terima kasih.thank you.

SHOO!SHOO!

come back my high spirits!

*spirited away*

...a favour if you will,father time

2009-09-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

...it's mind-boggling how time flies when you want it to pass as slow as possible and how it crawls when you want it to zoom by.

back again from my lover-ly trip back home.

sigh.

the journey was delayed by 3 hours,making my trip back last a grand total of 6 and a half hours.traffic was a bitch,what with the rain and all.

sigh.

i miss home already!

sigh.

...ingrate

2009-09-05T08:22:00.001-07:00

...is it a sin to want to have a t****?

...love thyself

2009-09-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

...i do.

but i care for them more.

if only they were more liberal and open-minded.

...wise men say

2009-09-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

...hope i wasn't a fool.

*sigh*

dear me,even i'm puzzled at your own eccentricity.

...proximity

2009-09-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

...when you get close,i push away.

dunno why.

...i need to be

2009-09-01T04:54:00.000-07:00

...inspired.

...f***ing wicked

2009-08-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

...SO want to go there.no,LIVE there.

conservativeness is killing me oh-so-slowly.especially where i'm at.even more so the surrounding peeps.disgusting really.

the brazen expressions are my current fave.makes me wanna tell all the muppets to sod off.

and they're like THE richest b*****ds on earth.

p.s.can i swear more next time?

p.s.2.to those of you who're too bloody high on your effing horse,sod off.

p.s.3. =P

...pyramids of swiss bliss(hopefully)

2009-08-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

my saviour?

...still a lil under the weather and medicating myself with this *points to pic* and some choice songs.

at least if bippy comes to visit,the blame's on my temperature and not purely me.

plan b....always was and always will be.

...of not giving an ass,behind,arse,backside,bottom?

2009-08-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

...don't really have anything in particular to blog about and yet i feel like writing/typing something.

1. i'm sick,have been for the past couple of days.not the continuous kind,it feels intermittent,it comes and goes.my face will be red like a tomato one moment and deadly pale(like edward cullen =D )the next.so far,it has resulted in me not watching the proposal and it was a late night movie to boot.

2. and yet i'm blissfully nonchalant about it and just about everything else.it's been working wonders to my worrisome mind lately although i'm not so sure what 'magic' it will effect upon my upcoming test.been taking things kinda easy for the past week or 2,a real contrast to my first few weeks.amazing what hormones can do to you.

3. perhaps it's not just the sporadic hormones.can something be pressing against my darling of a noodle?it seems to me,and i could be wrong,but it seems to me that my tremble's been a lil bit more obvious lately.been chattering aimlessly and forgetting names too.don't get me wrong it can be delightful(at least i'm not all mousey with my deafening silence)but ain't too sure what to do or make of it.kinda anticipate a scoff from whomever i visit.if so,i shall scoff back and throw in a snort just for good measure,thank you.

4. then again,it could just be a matter of circumstance(circumstances?).outings,random chatter,kari jobe?taken by the melodies and voice.just gimme a decent string of notes and i'm bought.frim was new and good but do refrain from dragging me there again or i shall cast you a laser look and perhaps even attempt to sit on you.

5. as you can see,my nonsensical outpouring of sheer poppycock has even extended to my blog.revel in it if you're good-looking and cool(Hah!)or just ignore and dismiss it if you're the straight-laced,goody two-shoes or breathtakingly boring type.i do apologize for those labels as i despise them myself but then again,am i me?

grammar ain't givin a rat's tushy~!

...inspiring jb

2009-08-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

...i think he's inspirational.

"when you make a mistake or are facing a particularly hard time in life,learn from it and move on.ALWAYS move on."

was pleasantly surprised today.

we were talking about how hypocritical some people can be and when questioned,my friend simply replied,"i will pray for them",instead of trashing them like we did.it completely caught me off-guard although i did take time to appreciate the sincerity behind it.

this is,IMHO,one of those moments that make life worth living.simply a pleasant surprise.

respected her before....

...and now,i respect her even more.

...of low stuffing

2009-08-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

...nope,the mcflurry didn't work.

next time,perhaps a choc sundae.

...........

i'm sorry for wanting more.

i'm sorry you feel that way.

i'm sorry you didn't call.

i'm sorry i haven't found you.

i'm sorry i'm hurt.

...thanks~

2009-08-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

...thanks everyone who made it special~=]

...karma | amrak

2009-07-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

...i believe in karmic retribution.

*pause*

dear god,i'm going to be nice..

...and start with a smile =]

*fingers crossed*

...seriously?

2009-07-28T05:35:00.000-07:00

...once upon a time,there was something to drink.

then,it magically grew legs and ran away.

once,there was something to make coffees with.

it also grew feet and fled.

monsters must be lurking somewhere

selfish ones.

...with great shortcomings come great rights?

2009-07-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

slowly turning my back?

...you acknowledge my 'shortcoming' but you ignore my right that comes with it.

am i wrong to feel it?

everyone hopes to be perfect.or close to it.

at least i do.

puzzling.

a shell remains.

but it doesn't echo completely.

something remains while everything else has regressed,relapsed,reversed.

but it's going too.

if it does,i'll be thankful i had a good run.

short one,but good nonetheless.

...the trouble with being bippy

2009-07-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

...life is fading away.

it's exhausting

feel like letting go

and jumping off

to float up(hopefully)later on

*sigh*

i don't want to be bippy no more.

...so close

2009-07-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

...everyone deserves to be happy.

...pluralism

2009-07-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

...it's been nearly a month since the 3rd sem started and it's kinda odd how things have always started shakily since the past couple of sems.yup,this sem's beginning is no different from the previous two although the degree of instability was considerably elevated.the wheel's still turning so let's hope we don't hit anymore bumps along the way.

but enough bout that.

today,we went for our first visit which was at the respiratory institute and i had fun.it was quite interesting walking around the different departments located within the institute's compund and eventhough it is comparatively smaller,the exposure was stimulating.and we even got refreshments!

we started off with a brief introduction of the institute and how it started off as a tuberculosis centre before maturing into a hospital and finally differentiating into a respiratory institute.

weird choice of vocab?

in my books(literally),it isn't.

afterthat,we had some food and then we were split into 2 groups to make touring a lil bit easier.

first,we visited the different wards where tb patients were admitted into and some were such severe cases that they had to be isolated(they had multi-drug resistant tb if i'm not mistaken).the rest were in the open-air style coz apparently,uv light kills the tb bacteria.

the isolation unit had like,two 'layers' whereby the first entrance led you into the first partition before another door leads you directly into the patient's room.they had this monitoring device that recorded the number of hours that the filter has been running and once it reaches 14000 hours,the filter will be cleaned out.apparently,the air in the unit is sucked out and filtered continuously(it was bout 12k when we were there).

although we walked around and were exposed to the tb patients,we reassured that as long as we weren't immunocompromised,we were most likely to be safe.and most of us had our bcg vaccination although the debate on the duration of the immunity it 'bestows upon us' continues.lifelong or 10 years?*shrugs*

we also saw the high dependency unit/ward where it was almost akin to the intensive care unit and i noticed that one of the patients there had cancer of the lung and many of them had bloody coughs.we weren't allowed inside though,so we merely peeked at the poor peeps.

then we went to see how certain lung function tests were performed and also saw the bacterium causing tb under the microscope.

the highlight of the tour for me was the part where we were brought to the pharmacy and we got to see many different types of drugs.many of them were relatively familiar and it was nice to actually see the real stuff instead of just reading about them.it felt like a reminder that the things we learn are real and concrete and not merely fancy schmancy names in voluminous books.there were diuretics,antibiotics,specific tb drugs and also examples asthmatic inhalers.

along the way,we saw many mirrors and our dear guide explained that it was a form of reminder to the staff that image is also important.it serves as a form of reflection of the persona's outlook,from the proper attire to the smile that he/she is supposed to display as a sign of not only professionalism,but also basic courtesy.in other words,if you see a staff member checking him/herself out in the mirror,think of the person not as being vain,but rather helping him/herself to serve you better(reasonably valid reason) =P

we also paid a visit to the physiotherapy section where it looked like a gym with treadmills and weights.the person in charge explained to us how they positioned patients with lung abscesses or fluid on a platform with their head tilted backwards and their body elevated to drain the bad stuff.there was also a massager that helped mobilize the fluid to enable better drainage.

the clock was ticking so the tour ended.the people there were very friendly and nice,so accommodating and willing to share despite being busy with their own tasks.

definitely an eye-opening,fruitful and fun experience. < )

...whimsically burton

2009-07-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

...rarely look forward to the release of movies.screening through the playing ones and picking the one that looks or sounds most interesting would be the norm when it comes to a visit to the cinema.

but one movie that i'm kinda looking forward to is the latest adaptation of alice in wonderland by tim burton which is set to be released in march of next year.

very fetching portrait,an artpiece in itself.

i think helena bonham carter as the red queen is simply apt;should be bloody brilliant.am a fan of her work.

johnny depp as the mad hatter:not really a fan of his but he should do justice to the character.

anne hathaway as the white queen,didn't even know there was one.think she's a nice person.

as for now,the screenshots of the movie are wickedly good and reminds me of the way sweeney todd was shot,sort of a juxtaposition between real-life imagery and haunting graphics.the shots are a pain to upload though.

oh and alan rickman's playing the hookah-smoking caterpillar.intriguing enough?

for the uninitiated,alan rickman is harry potter's professor snape.

my favourite tim burton movie thus far would still be sleepy hollow.

horror,comedy and action with johnny depp as the comical ichabod.definitely a movie i wouldn't mind watching over and over again.

sweeney todd was also good.musically gory.almost an oxymoron if you think about it.

edward scissorhands

his movies are always so weirdly eclectic but at the same time satisfies the appetites of bored moviegoers satiated with generic films.a feast for the creative aspect of your brain if you'd like.

i didn't like charlie and the chocolate factory though.

the movie,which IMHO was too dark,paled in comparison to the book which was really one of roald dahl's crafted joy bundles.
even johnny depp appeared to take the demented side of willy wonka a bit too seriously instead of the crazy but lovable creature that is the guy with the tophat and coattails.

spinning classics to tantalizing morsels of viewing pleasure.

...balance

2009-07-07T05:36:00.000-07:00

...am learning to let some things go and gain and hold on to others that are more important in life.

sacrifice.

my breakfast for today:mcflurry

i was eating it in the elevator and a guy came in and saw and asked "you been to mcdonald's already??"(it was bout 8.30am).

...annoying surprise

2009-07-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

...when i opened my email,i saw this:
squealing with joy,i clicked it:
can't see it?come,do take a closer look:

...

needless to say,i went:

p.s.ignore my poor editing skills.

...more than or good enough

2009-07-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

...i want to be a good one,not just one who scraped thru.

with god's blessing,perhaps even better than that.

0=]

...simple happiness

2009-07-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

...'be thankful for every happy day that passes you by,no matter how insignificant it may seem to be'.

the picture above is the very first masterpiece that has finally gained recognition for it's refreshing minimalism and effortlessness.originally meant to be a simple but essence-filled sketch,this piece of art was unfortunately misunderstood and fell into the dark depths of vandalism.

eventually though,more and more came to learn of and appreciate it. despite the damage that had already been afflicted to the artpiece,the original meaning or rather inspiration,shone through and enraptured those who came to gaze upon it.

think along the lines of Van Gogh but without the untimely death of the maestro =P

*note:the original sketch was drawn with only lines of pink.

*****

my latest crush:butter chicken.

...if only i could turn back time

2009-06-22T08:46:00.001-07:00

...but i can't.

...beneath 'me'

2009-06-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

...don't recall feeling like this for nearly a decade.feel like i'm losing it.

and yet i don't have a choice.

my mind is going soon.

...looking

2009-06-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

...where are you?

...when push comes to shove

2009-06-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

...i push back.bit by bit.

and i hardly Ever stop.

my lousy attempt at a defence?

at least i don't smile when i'm doing it.

at least not always.

...for the jonas brothers fans

2009-06-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

...stumbled upon it quite by accident and you gotta give him credit for the whole outfit(the guy's in heels for crying out loud).his facial expressions are so funny~!newfound respect for them.

hilariously brave!

...quirky but cute

2009-06-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

...hardly a word yet the meaning is conveyed.

i personally find it stifling that some people need to be engulfed in conversation and surrounded by people 24/7. it seems as if they need additional security that they're supposedly 'in' to compensate for the insecurities they have lurking beneath their,at times,transparent facade. thinking out loud,being unnecessarily sensitive and unnecessarily insensitive seem to be the order of the day for them.and more often than not,originality is hardly a word used to describe them for much of themselves have been compromised to fit the moulds of the status quo. sometimes,it makes you feel like walking up to them and tying a stick or branch to their backs to make up for their lack of a backbone.

just a passing thought that was screaming to be publicised.

<3

...upon a star

2009-06-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

...groping in the darkness

searching for a hand,

that fits the contours of my palm,

the wrinkled fortuneteller;

to fill the gaps between my fingers,

the missing pieces to the life puzzle;

interlocking them,

clutching on tightly,

never letting go.

to navigate this place called world;

despite the couple of decades

a map is still not seen.

the fortuneteller tells of many tales

for 'many' in this case

means not wealth nor glory nor happiness

alas!naysayers' predictions often resemble them

exception in this case i hope not.

...letting it out

2009-05-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

...

1.you were rude.

2.you didn't need to be cold even if you did everything yourself.

3.you could be a bit more supportive and less apathetic.

4.i don't need to and can't please everyone.

5.you should take more responsibility instead of dumping it on us.

6.i'm not perfect but neither are you so stop acting like you are.

i'll continue when i continue because i can continue when i want to continue.

...kammassaka

2009-05-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

...is this karmic retribution?

if it is,it wasn't my fault.

at least,i don't think it was.

completely unexpected this.....

...168 hours

2009-05-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

...left to go.at this time next week,i'll finally be free,liberated,released,emancipated,unchained,untied.

oh the drama.

but the fact is That.

*SMACK!*

...notes on bars

2009-05-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

...can't seem to find it on the musicplayer sites.guess this'll just have to do for now.

it's from an anime called 'his and her circumstances'/kare kano which is also nice.kinda funny.caught it on my sis's computer bout 3 years back.she's the anime fan.

have always liked it since the first time i heard it.though i'd rather it didn't pick up at both ends.IMHO,sorta disrupts the continuity of the mood that was set at the beginning.then again,it's still nice.

...rare but always

2009-05-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

...i don't do this often since i'm not used to it.(refer to past post)

but...

Thanks Mum!

Lovin' you loads and always~~muacks.. =3

...a plea

2009-05-01T04:43:00.000-07:00

...exam dear,would you end quickly please?

i know you haven't even started yet but can u make time fly so that we'll meet and part as soon as possible?

that way,we will barely know each other and it won't hurt so much when we finally part ways yes?

13 days more before we bid each other farewell.

...reverse

2009-04-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

...if only i could turn back time.

SIGH.

...annoyed

2009-04-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

...i am annoyed with yours truly.who is yours truly?why,that's me!

going back and forth on something insignificant while blowing off everything else that is of meaning is foolish.

(in my own terms,say sampat)

pushing the matter to the back seems to give it some rebounding effect.like a spring or rubber band or a pitting edema(whoo-hoo!).

bonkers.

p.s:ignore the piggy pic.out of annoyance it is up again.

...meanie

2009-04-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

...yes,here i am blogging again since i managed to randomly pilfer someone's internet.puppies hush!

then again,what is there to blog about?*scratchscratch* finals are approaching,creeping nearer and nearer day by day and i can never seem to remember what the french toasts i've studied.so it is not nice.

and it's so freakin boring(in chinese,say pikchik),sitting in my room staring at the four corners(plus the ceiling) while occasionally listening to the sounds of blasting music reverberating thru the aforementioned four corners.amazing how people can blast music that's audible few(?) floors above/below.

missing the normal school times where i would while the hours away in the cool pbl rooms in school while getting the random visits from random visitors and talking away about random stuff.and buying ice creams and jack and jill chips and wasabi twisties(stomach pain) and yummy corntoz and preserved orange peel and the bottomless,not enough flavouring jack and jill corn curls(?) and currypuff.those were the days i tell you.randomness kills the boredom of the monotony of school.am i making sense?

plans after the exams have so far failed to smack me to study.maybe because not much has been confirmed.

yeesh,lost for words due to the nothingness around.exam end quick please.

ps:ignore the piggy pic,yet another random thing.

...the mysterious case of

2009-03-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

...once upon a time,in a small,quaint little town,there lived a boy.he had just returned home for a short break from his apprenticeship at a place far far away and was looking to kick back and relax.

so,he decided to watch some movies.he searched and searched thoroughly through the vcds and dvds in the drawer but couldn't find any interesting movies.as he moved on to the next drawer,he felt himself stepping into something wet and slippery.he shifted his gaze from the contents of the drawer and peered down.

to his utmost shock,he saw..

romantic blood.is it a sign? =3

and when he looked for the source,he almost got an acute myocardial infarction (Wahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha)

massive bleeding,no?

although he thought long and hard,he couldn't remember ever cutting or hurting his toe.

so he shrugged his shoulders and went back riffling through the drawer for a good movie.

it still remains a most mysterious mystery up till today.

the end.

...tripped?

2009-03-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

...i didn't ask for it.

i just fell into it.

by accident.

...moving out and on

2009-03-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

...after weeks of puzzling over what to move and how to move and where to move,i've finally moved.well,most of my stuff anyway.tomorrow i'm going to leave the room i called house for the past 10 months.time does fly.

unfortunately(or fortunately?) though,i don't think i'm going to miss my room.too many horrible,sleepless,stressed out,hot nights i say.if only things were different.even now as i blog on my very last night,the horrid martians are still as annoying as ever.probably jumping up and down yelling "good riddance!" at the top of their alien lungs.guess some things just never change.

thankfully,some things do change and that's me moving out.with the help of my very nice,patient friends,managed to move my stuff in less than an hour.yes,yes i owe you two lunch or dinner(note the word 'or').in fact,it was raining while i was moving my stuff.Not exactly the best weather to lug heavy things around in.

oh and something silly happened.see,we moved all my stuff into a vacant elevator before going down.one of us would press the 'door open' button while the other would grab the stuff.when we reached the bottom we'd do the same except instead of filling the elevator,we emptied it.as we were moving the stuff out,another elevator arrived and we had to stop pressing the button for the other elevator to move.and then our own doors shut and up went my pail,hangers,and toilet broom.an adventure by themselves all on their own.they returned unscath with a nonchalant guy.

and we get a week off since exams are going on.so i'm homeward bound and a lil' bit wiser this time since i booked the bus ticket already.

...vicious cycle

2009-03-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

...it happened again.

after 5 whole years,it is back.different setting,different persona,different meaning,different context.

and yet

it is the same wonderfully cruel feeling.

even before arriving,i've already seen the destination.yes,it is a dead end.the road leads to nowhere.

and yet

i still travel upon it.

5 years worth of wisdom has made me think it through even more.the impulses are stronger,yet they are sharper,in a way.

and they're telling me to stop,turn around and walk away.

it is wrong.

but when will i reach THE place?

is it just another sunset over the horizon-

unreachable-

beautiful yet impossible?

only the two moving hands will part the veil.

...rarity

2009-03-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

...feeling a bit light and free,probably due to the really nice soundtrack i stumbled upon on a friend's blog.

anyways,went to UM today for a workshop thingy about alternative/complementary medicine.didn't intend to go at first since the schedule was filled with talks and speeches.

but it turned out well.

learnt quite a lot today.like how our brain activity can be improved with some help from aromatherapy like using lavender and bergamot oils can actually increase our alpha waves(supposedly for memory),and how creative people might have significantly higher readings of theta waves from their electroencephalogram(EEG).

told ya i learnt stuff today.

time to stock up on them essential oils and start sniffing them seeing that the year-end exams are just around the corner.but these oils are actually more pricey than the regular cooking oil and even petrol.a small bottle(say 10-15ml) can set you back rm20 depending on the type and brand you purchase.then again though,it lasts for quite some time.no one's asking you to down them like shots are they?

lookin' pretty in their own bottles.

and i had my very first acupuncture experience today!kinda exciting,watching the needle being swiftly and professionally inserted into my arm.didn't really hurt,just the run of the mill pressure that anyone would experience with a regular jab or injection.

and then there was the hypnotherapy session which,IMHO,was very well conducted.the speaker(who sounded australian) even managed to demonstrate some of her skills on everyone in the audience as a group.her intonation and pronunciation was so precise and succinct.guess it helps in her line of work since the outcome depends on what you say and how you phrase it.

yeah,it was worth the rm10 spent.

p.s looks like THE first,slightly more informative post on this blog.*snort*

...a break

2009-03-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

...it was a good day today.

despite the disgusting level of noise last night,i was a trooper.hell yeah i'm proud.

anyways,didn't really feel like going to 'play' today but i didn't want to stay in school or go back to my unit right after the test either.so we bundled up in a friend's car and off we were to midvalley to watch movies and just chill.

i initially wanted to watch marley and me but most of them wanted to watch other movies.so after some debate,we ended up watching the disney movie Race to Witch Mountain with the Rock and the charlie and the chocolate factory girl.i was sceptical at first but the movie turned out ok.you don't exactly expect the protagonist to die in a disney movie do you?although it would have been a thrill to watch....

anyways,we then had another forum to decide between the dragonball movie or the streetfighter movie.After some nail-biting,gut-wrenching moments of personal points of view being thrown back and forth(oh the drama),we decided to buy tickets for the dragonball movie.

but it was not really worth the rm7 spent on it.

before you could say "goku,why are you caucasian and your grandpa asian?",the grandpa was murdered.before you could say "chow yun fatt",another lead character kicked the bucket.and then the bad-guy too.and before you know it,the zero-turned-hero is already sucking face with the girl.Twice.

and then the credits started rolling.

the movie only lasted an hour and a half.i guess it was to be expected since the characters started dropping like flies even before the story could properly unfold on its own.funny at times(isn't chi pronounced 'chee' and not 'key' and what's with the chuckle-inducing kungfu moves?) but the storyline was kinda predictable making us audience go "that's it?".

after dragonball,we contemplated watching the streetfighter movie but that would be pushing the limit.Slightly.

it was great fun though.

p.s pardon the grammar,feeling nastily lazy to be proper.

...a series of unfortunate events/looking on the bright side

2009-03-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

...so i was really low the day before.didn't get much sleep,cramming stuff within 3 days,taking a test for the crammed stuff....train wreck really.

BUT

i didn't quit.and i'm kinda proud of myself about that.AND i don't think i did that badly after all.fingers STILL are crossed however.

and then things came clanking(not crashing coz on second thought,it really wasn't THAT bad) down again.

so i decided to head back home for the weekend even though i haven't gotten the ticket yet.that's just the way i do it all the time.going all the way to the bus station just to get a ticket and coming back all the way and a few days later going all the way back to the station again?3 all the ways?i think not.

this time though tickets were all sold out.who knew my hometown would be so popular?

heck i didn't.

so after mulling about it for a lil' while,i boarded the lrt back.

{come to think of it,i wouldn't have done it any other way given the chance.seriously not a fan of going for the sake of securing}

ANYWAYS

after getting off at my stop,the uni bus rolled up just as i reached the entrance.timing was impeccable.

the seating though.....not so great.

a lady sat beside me with all her shopping bags and stuff that literally poked my sides and i could even feel her sweaty,flabby arms.bleaurgh!stay on your side woman,the seats are for two.and she was hollering to her friends in the front seats.poor ears.

was only 'emancipated' after the bus reached the uni.but not before making a stop at the north wing.needless to say the journey back wasn't a good one.(not like it was supposed to be great in the first place but it could have been a hell lot better.)

it was a hot day.i was sweating buckets.

so i was walking down the hill back to my unit from the uni and it ain't exactly a short distance.things couldn't get any worst right?

it began to rain.

to be honest,it wasn't really the cats and dogs kind,but i guess you could say it leaned towards the heavier drizzle.

so there i was,a heavy bag on my back and a book in my hand walking under the rain WHICH further drenched my already-wet-due-to-sweat t-shirt.

misery?

i get to go back tomorrow.IF I want to.

so life gave me rotten lemons.i just took a sip and i'm done.tisn't exactly the end of the world.

guess my pride was enough to 'perfuse' my positivity after all. A-HAH! =P

...is this karma?

2009-03-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

...it's strange how i'm impatient with friends but with dumb housemates,my patience is taken to a whole new level.someone should give me a medal for my not jumping off a cliff having to put up with these people.and i have a test in less than 48 hours.sigh.....

i hate confrontation.just think and be a little bit more considerate.is it really that hard?we live in a small unit in a condominium.why would u need speakers to blast your music within your small single room?why not use earphones?do u really expect me to be deaf enough not to hear the music if not feel the vibrations from your room?if you really are that naive then why do u hide every time you hear me coming out from my room?

hog the sink,i really couldn't care less.dirty the bathroom,i'll clean it myself.hate me,i honestly don't care.

just use earphones.it really isn't that hard.i'll teach u.and for the love of your dignity,stop belting out the songs.this isn't a freakin karaoke.

some people get used to it.is it really possible?

i am in awe.

after all's been said and done,i'm back at square one.

...actually doing it

2009-02-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

...is this where it's supposed to end each time?

do i really make things complicated?

but then again my reactions are beyond me

after all's been said and done

i'm back to square one?

you cut me

haha boy Lord aren't you playing with me

the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference so she says

Creak Creak I see it creeping up

the sooner adaptation sets in the better?

i opened a box today,does that count?

I Can't Help It

oh shut up

and

for once just help it

Conclusion?

gasoline over adaptation any time;uncertainties are worse

are they?

Conclusion??

is it time yet?

let me go

*lightbulb*

Please?
Let me Go

...what if

2009-02-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

...if only i were Him.

oh the sins that must have been committed in the past,why are they not known?

resentment and hate rings through and go both ways.

when will he be free?

if only i were H.

...random but what isn't?

2009-02-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

...lil' ol' me dozed off while bluetooth-ing pics to my com at 7.40 pm today.

poor kid.mekk.

...to please

2009-02-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

...1)What have you been doing recently?
surfing the net,reading blogs,reading books,daydreaming.

2)Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
sometimes,when i pity it and give it an off-day.

3)What happened at 10am today?
preparing my presentation on a whiteboard.

4)when did you last cry?
=X

5)Believe in fate/destiny?
in certain cases,yes.but i also think that if we want something we gotta get off our fat asses and work for it.

6)What do you want in your life now?
changes.good ones.life's not the only bitch around.(hear that,monotony?)

7)Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
ain't got no hoodies.depends on how heavy.

8)What's your favourite thing to do on the bed?
lie on it?

9)What bottoms are you wearing now?
sexy black shorts whoo-hoo! =>

10)Whats the nicest things in your inbox?
happy stuff?

11)Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?
sometimes,but then i can be straightforward too.

12)Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
nope.never really borrowed clothes.

13)What was the last movie you caught?
Kes Benjamin Butang yang Mencurigakan.only a bit of it tho.wasn't in the mood.

14)What are you proud of?
the good things in my life that i've done,no matter how tiny they may be =3

15)What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?
something bout a trip to pangkor island back in may/june of last year.

16)What was the last song you sang out loud?
too many to remember,throat went on overdrive today =P

17)Do you have any nicknames?
yang,yang yang,kambing.

18)What does the newest text say?
something bout a book;new and old edition.

19)What time did you go to bed last night?
slept and awoke too many times to be accurate.

20)Are you currently happy?
neutral,neither nor.

21)Who gives you the best advice?
me parents,one of the professors,and other introverts(coz generally they tend to think and ponder alot)

22)Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
nopes,it-gross-me-thinks.

23)Who did you talk on the phone last night?
dad.

24)Is something bugging you now?
not really,mind can be blissfully empty at times.Knock knock!

25)Who was the last person to make you laugh?
my friends?

...squeak!

2009-02-16T02:52:00.000-08:00

...i had a most peculiar and surprising encounter this morning.

as i was walking down the road from where i stayed,a small mouse bounded down the nearby stairs,step by step and i stopped coz seeing a mouse is a rarity for me.

then,in its excitement(or rather fear),it ran towards my left shoe and *PIPINN..!*banged into it.quickly lifted my leg up and let it pass.it ran up the hill,making others stop in their tracks as they watch that little thing scurry away with its tail swishing behind it.

the end.

moral of the story:be nice to mice.

...woc

2009-02-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

...it's been boring lately.nothing interesting cropped up and nothing to do but bury myself in books books and more books.guess when i'm studying what i'm studying,that's the kind of life.crap.

hmm...what to talk about.....okay let's talk about hanging out with friends.when you go bowling or watching movies or just to the mamak shop nearby,do you really have fun or are you just tagging along to kill the time?when we have something good then we see the little that we had thought was alot.

once upon a time in a small town,there lived a deer.the deer was always neither happy nor sad but always leaning towards unhappy boredom.it was eating hay most of the time and although that didn't make it unhappy,the hay didn't make the deer leap for joy either.

one day the deer decided to leave its hometown to seek greener pastures(pun not intended).so with a knapsack on its back,it went hiking in the nearby muddy riverbanks before reaching a city.it eventually found some delicious grass that made it so happy it became a happy deer.but that did not last.

the deer wasn't actually looking for better food.the deer was looking for change.but it knew better than to constantly seek change when the one thing it wanted most desperately to change was in fact,unchangeable.

so it went to a nearby river and drowned itself.

after it died,butchers sold its meat for a good price and were very happy about it.

the end.

moral of the story:most of the important things in life are not materialistic but deeper stuff.and when things don't work out for you,it might work for others.take a deep breath and take the plunge.you know what works best.the right thing to do is often the hardest.

...notes about me

2009-02-13T05:45:00.000-08:00

...this is supposed to be on facebook but due to my wonderfully pathetic facebooking skills,i'll just do this here.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I am quiet like a maus ("squeak!").

2. I like solitude half of the time and company the other half.

3. I am horribly moody.

4. I am eccentric.

5. I do things and then regret them.

6. I don't do things and then regret not doing them.

7. I love knowing I have nothing to do.

8. I would like to travel more;Europe and islands.

9. I enjoy luxury but can't afford it.(sad right?)

10. I want to live my life the way I want to live my life the way I want to live my life the way I want to live my life the way I want to.....?

11. I like it when I'm all cosy and it rains lightly outside with some mist.

12. I like experiences; see,hear,try but am often too shy.

13. I like thinking of 'if 's.

14. I DO NOT conform.(I still resent you for saying that I do)

15. My family is the most important thing to me.

16. I would like to read and speak more languages.

17. I would have done so much more if I could turn back time,especially to 5 years back.(See no.13)

18. I hope I turn out fine 5 years later and realize ZY Hospital.

19. I am a romantic?

20. I may seem like I'm not listening but in fact I am.(except during lectures;then it's the other way around)

21. I wasn't brought up to say those mushy stuff.

22. I am neurotic.

23. I want to go on a roadtrip.NOW.

24. I will never be a morning person.Never.

25. I tend to keep things to myself and pengsan.

Whoever wants to do it do it.

...sleep

2009-02-13T03:47:00.000-08:00

...i didn't really sleep when i was tired just now.just drifted in and out of snoozing.friends should know why.and people wonder why i'm like a black cloud.help.

someone shoot me please.

...then now soon

2009-01-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

....settings of past have emerged and don't seem to be changing any time soon.thinking it was going to last is a sign of naivete on my part but who knew?silence is bad company(dialogue) after all.

a new stage started off with promising prospects despite humble foundations,but the wooden planks have begun to creak and cracks have shown their faces.some of the cast have moved on to greener pastures while the remaining original ensemble continue to stay put.the audience is divided but stars are shiny,attractive and born not made.the end of a plot or the whole act?have the curtains closed for the swan song unknowingly?

the burdens are ever present;depends on the strength you have around you to continue shouldering them.

what a lousy beginning!

...ding dong ding dong

2009-01-10T04:55:00.000-08:00

...one of my most missed songs,brings back memories.

i'm an old old soul in a young yang body,no?

...all good things

2009-01-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

...shut up
stop judging
viewing light,take a change
ignorance bliss
often pure stupidity
equality *snorts*
discrimination always nigh
pushed into a corner
life wilts...
...death ends it.
beautiful disaster
neither happy or ?

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an
Why do all good things come to end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an end
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an end
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon
so that they could die

...nocturnal yet again

2009-01-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

...it's 3.28 a.m,i'm still awake and i've got a class at 8 in the morning.madness i tell you.i guess it helped that i slept and woke at about 11.30 just now.my sleeping hours have all been jumbled up probably due to the stupid upcoming fortnightly annoyance.kinda like when i was preparing for my stpm and while i was enjoying the post-stpm hols.back then,woke up at 12 or 1 or 2 pm,sleep at 6 or 7 am.sigh,the good old days..

i was actually kinda cool and chill about it.wasn't really stressed but it was at the back of my head.but after reviewing the learning objectives and trying to recall what the heck i read,alarms started going off.

see,the trouble with what i'm studying now is that you've got to keep up with the ridiculous pace of referring.at times you've gotta refer to the lecture notes and other times you stick to the books.

wouldn't it be nice if we just had one,
then we no need to see here see there,
currently it's so damn darn annoying,
sometimes i don't really wanna care;
but when i see rajin people near and far,
and that's when i myself begin to gubra..

unfortunately for me,i made the wrong choice THIS time and i've got to sorta start over.frickin' frustratin yanowadamean?

but as the saying goes,rice has turned into porridge and what can you do?
just gotta eat the porridge,bit by bit.

...5 dinners and an allergy

2008-12-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

...so here i am,back from my lover-ly christmas and new year hols.didn't do much during the hols since we didn't go holidaying anywhere.one thing i did do was EAT!

it all began on christmas night.

on the first day of christmas..

early in the morning,we went down to ipoh to have dimsum in some place called bercham.the place was quite packed but IMHO,there really was nothing special.even the dimsums we have back home taste better.oh well.

that night,we went to another part of ipoh called pasir puteh to have a grand feast.the food was really rich and by the end of the night,stomachs were groaning NOT to be filled anymore than they already were.

oh oh,it was also where i found this:

hi there..

..whoa!ain't that cool?

on the second day of christmas..

since we exhausted our cars the previous day,we decided to dine closer to home that night.and so we bundled up in a few cars and drove to the fishing village called matang to have seafood porridge(with crab,fish,and other seafood).we also had sea snails,deep fried squid,and pork ribs.the porridge was better than the one we tasted before and the portions were big.thumbs up!

on the third day of christmas..

taiping is a small town with not many places to eat yummy food.so on the recommendation of an uncle,we drove up to a place near parit buntar called kampung baru(or was it bagan samak?)to have our freshwaterfood(not seafood cos we saw our dinner swimming around in tanks before they were dead on our table).the location was so deserted(ulu) that some of us had trouble finding it.it was really in the midst of a kampung or village.

we had steamed fish,chicken and two different dishes of prawn,among others.i personally didn't find the food to be really that good,but it was getting rave reviews from the others.just goes to show that my tastebuds and the tastebuds of the general public are miles different,making it near impossible for me to make any recommendations on places to dine.

the last dish gave me a surprise though:an allergis reaction.by the time i got home,my eyes were watery and puffy and my lower lip was swollen.

the culprit:

looks normal..

drunken prawns(cooked with rice wine)

they do look drunk to me

on the fourth day of christmas..

we had dinner back in taiping.the usual stuff(four seasons,shark's fin soup,etc.)this time though.

on the fifth day of christmas..

we also had dinner in taiping.considering the fact that we ate like we've never eaten before for the past four days,we decided to make this dinner a small affair.but,we ended up ordering salted-egg crabs although it was nothing to shout about really.perhaps it wasn't the restaurant's specialty.

and that was the end of my gastronomic adventure.on the seventh day of christmas however,they decided to go back to the village restaurant to have a second helping.if only i had known earlier,i wouldn't be back so soon!

...feliz navidad!

2008-12-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

be nice!

...it's christmas again!whoo-hoo~=P

there's always something bout christmas that's so jolly,so merry,so festive that makes you want to celebrate eventhough you're not technically a christian.

i think it's due to the largely publicised image that comes with christmas(christmas tree,snow!,roast turkey,presents!,fireplace!,christmas songs,christmassy movies,christmas car-toons!).sigh,how can anyone not love christmas?!

merry christmas peeps~!